A Songbird In A Puckleberry Tree
by Meilan Firaga
Summary: A collection of Puckleberry drabbles and ficlets.  Rated T for Puck's mouth.
1. He Lives On Cherry Lane

_**A Songbird in a Puckleberry Tree**_

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_**He Lives on Cherry Lane**_

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TFLN Prompt: (815): I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.

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Rachel Berry was astounded to find that she'd awoken at 8:00 am. Such a late time was absolutely unacceptable for a Saturday morning, regardless of whether or not her ballet class for that day had been cancelled. She got out of bed and began her morning stretches, disgruntled that they hadn't been finished at least an hour ago. As she bent to touch her toes, the flashing light of her phone caught her eye.

Who would have tried to call her so early? Surely no one but her fathers was up at this time, as the rest of the glee club seemed to abhor the morning light, but she could hear her fathers puttering about downstairs through her open door. Her eyes grew wide when she lifted to phone to find that she had ten missed text messages from none other than Noah Puckerman.

Her heart started to pound. Was there some sort of emergency? Had he done something stupid again and was now hiding out from the police in some dump in the backwoods? She truly hoped he wasn't begging her for sanctuary. A future Broadway star could not risk her career by harboring a fugitive.

Or…was it worse? Had his mother or sister had an accident? Did Shelby call to tell him something was wrong with Beth? By the time she scrolled to the first text and opened it up her hands were shaking. What she read stopped every mental process cold.

_hey berry…have u seen the muffin man?_

She blinked. What? Her fingers found the next message, and then the next, and the next. Each message left her more confused than the last, all of Noah's horrendous profanities aside.

_srsly berry the fuckin muffin man_

_have you seen him?_

_the one that lives on goddamned cherry lane_

_shit berry this shits important. i need the muffin man_

_dammit berry fuckin answer me. point me to that jackass muffin man_

_BBBEEEERRRRYYYY_

_there even a cherry ln round here?_

_ur lettin me down berry. u know fuckin evrbdy_

_u c that bastard u damn well better let me know_

Rachel sat on the edge of her bed and stared blankly at the myriad of messages. What on earth was Noah so upset about? She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, her brow crinkling as she pondered all of the possibilities. Finally, she reached a conclusion that seemed to her the only logical one. With a determined air, she closed her phone, got dressed, and made her way downstairs.

If they didn't have muffin mix, she'd simply go to the store. Clearly, Noah needed muffins desperately. He must have thought to message her because of her superior skills in the kitchen.

The thought that he may have just been drunk and looking for an excuse to talk to her never crossed her mind.


	2. Lucky Stars

_**Lucky Stars**_

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**_TFLN Prompt: (303): I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away

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Post-orgasm Rachel Berry was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. Seriously, he was counting his lucky stars and all that shit that he'd been the one to fuck her till she bit her lip to keep from screaming and waking up the entire hotel. Although, getting to hear the rest of the glee club's reaction to knowing how loud—and lewd—Rachel could be would have been a trip.

"You alright, babe?" he asked, not bothering to pull up a blanket to cover them. She made this cute little whimper and buried her face in the side of his neck. What do you know, there was a way to make Rachel Berry speechless. And having one of those tight little thighs thrown across his waist really didn't hurt either.

On the bedside table, his phone buzzed. He stretched sideways and inched the phone to grabbing range without moving. He wasn't about to get out of this position for whatever retarded text Hudson had sent him. When he flipped it open, his only thought was 'Shit, what does Quinn want?'

He read the message, read it again, and started to laugh. Rachel looked up at him with that little frown that always said she was curious and would be asking a billion questions if he didn't jump the gun. He handed her the phone and threw a hand over his eyes. The little meep noise she made next told him more about her whole body turning bright red than looking at her would have.

_Puckerman, I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum, but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away. –Q_

Rachel set the phone on his chest, rolling away to bury her face in a pillow. Before he could follow to reassure her that this was just giving her some badass cred, the damn thing buzzed again. This time the message was from Sam.

_Dude, Lauren's over here and pissed the fuck off._

Smiling broadly, he tossed the phone over his shoulder and pulled Rachel to him. He'd set out to prove he wasn't a chubby chaser, proved it, and gained a little sex kitten that had surprised him in more ways than one. He wasn't about to let that go.


	3. Luna and Artemis

**_Luna and Artemis_**

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Sarcastic_finas Prompt: Brittney's phone is a spy - it always knows who's calling! But no matter how many times she's threatens it, it won't tell her how to get Puckleberry back together and she really thinks the glee club needs more yummy.

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The cat and phone were working together. She was sure of it. That's the only reason she could think of why the phone set out to meow so often. That's why she was so angry after Kurts big shinding at Breadstix that she went home and threw it straight at the cat.

Brittany flopped down on the end of her bed. Yes, Artie had been wonderful for Valentines Day-even if he still couldn't walk without Transformer legs, and they really needed to find out how to make those appear in a matter of seconds like they do in all those cartoons-but she couldn't get the image of Rachel looking so lonely and Puck fawning over Lauren out of her head. Lauren was like the Beryl to her Sailor Moon, only not so much on the sexy lady-ness.

Sighing, she got off the bed and picked up her phone from the corner. She stared down at its deceivingly cute pink cover. "Tell me how to bring Puckleberry back," she demanded. The phone sat quietly in her hand, mocking her with its silence. Every day she asked it this one question, and every day it continued to mock her.

_Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow MEOW meow meow meow._

Brittany gave a little shriek and dropped the little spy all over again. The screen was lighting up and Laurens name was flashing across the cover. She looked around the room, spotting her cat sitting on top of her diary.

"I know this is your fault," she muttered, glaring at the feline as she bent to pick up the phone. "Hello?"

_"Hey, Brittany, Puck's not really into me, is he?"_

The tone of Laurens voice made her panic. "Oh my god, you ate Puck!"

A loud thump resonated through the phone, as though someone were banging their head against something on the other end of the line. _"That's not what I meant, short bus. He doesn't really like me, does he?"_

"Oh, thank goodness," Brittany sighed in relief. "I really wouldn't want you to eat Puck and I don't think he'd be very yummy without broccoli and chocolate sauce."

Another thump echoed. "_Just answer the damn question."_

"I don't know. He sang to you and the books in the library said something about a ring pop."

Across town, sitting on the weight bench in her bedroom, Lauren had to restrain herself from smacking her head against the barbell. Again. _"Look, he's actually trying, which is way more than I'd expected. I mean, Puckerman's hot and all, but hes not exactly full up in the brains department. Thing is, when he's not looking at me, he's looking at Berry."_

Back in her room, Brittany did a little dance. She hadn't noticed that, and while she was sure her traitorous phone had been neglecting to tell her, it was a good sign for her favorite fruit. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. "Well, they did date for a little while last year. Maybe he's just wondering what it would have been like if they hadn't split up."

Lauren was silent for a few minutes. _"Thanks, shortbus. That's all I needed to know."_

"Please remember not to eat Puck. Unless, of course, by eating him you mean sexy times. He likes that kind of eating."

With a final thump, the line went dead. Brittany bit her lip, letting a small smile spread slowly across her face. She looked from her phone to her cat and back.

"I get it now," she said quietly. "You two are Artemis and Luna. You want to help, but you can't really because you're a cat and a phone." She went over to her desk and sat down, running a hand through her cats fur. "I'm okay with that as long as we get more yummy Puckleberry back."


End file.
